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The New York Times sex toys, those egalitarian trumpeters of (their own) apocalypse, did the unthinkable this week when they rolled up their sleeves, amped up on their crazy pills (David Carr was not present), and launched themselves headlong. With their usual aplomb, the Times found the true heart of NSA sex: sweet but lonely dudes afraid that their FWB might stab them. Hilarity, we’re sure, will ensue momentarily.

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